C is for Chaste

A word I'm beginning to loathe. Turns out Mackenzie is chaste. So I cut things off, just a few minutes ago. I am not happy about this. I've had the strongest chemistry with her, over the rest. There's been a robust sexual connection between us, and it shows when we make out, and when we rub our (clothed) bodies against each other. Definitely some chemistry.

But every time I pushed the boundary a little further, I could feel her hesitation. I could see her hands stop, and could sense that I was going too far. And when she was slipping down that slippery slope of getting blue ovaries, she'd say we need to stop for a moment, to take a break.

Those were the same tell-tale signs that "My Bonita" was showing to me when we were dating. Why do chaste girls have to be so good at kissing? OH! I know. It's because they have so much pent up sexual energy, just waiting to be released.

Shitty. I hate this. This frustration of dating, and meeting the wrong one. And dating again. And for one reason or another it doesn't work out. I really need to leave this fucking area of the world. It's so....traditional here. I hate it. :(

I don't belong here. Nor do I belong in a bar. Or in a church. I belong somewhere else. I'm not sure where that is, but on the rare occasion, I'll meet a girl who's on the same wave-length as me. Only on the rare occasion. And even then, those relationships have been short lived.

*sigh* back to the drawing board. I get a weird feeling about Amy, but I've now got more free time to date her. So she's up next. Let's see how this plays out. As usual... I'm apprehensive about it all. This fucking love game.