When you ask someone out

When you ask someone out that you're really interested in, there's more on the line than just the question. I mean if you just go around asking out a girl every day, then it's no big deal if she says no because she's just "the next girl." But for me, it's not like that. I don't want to ask someone out if I'm only half-ass interested in her. That's a waste of time and I've already learned from those mistakes. So when I ask a girl out, there's a certain amount of risk that I'm taking. I've been holding up. And I've convinced myself that I'm asking out the right one. Or at least there's a good chance that she could be the right one. For her to reject me is crushing. That's the risk. And I do everything in my power to avoid the risk becoming the reality, but it seems that with each time I lay myself on the line I can increasingly expect it to happen, regardless of the precautions I've taken to avoid it. It just makes me feel like giving up, and I do give up... for a time, anyway. I get so frustrated by *not* trying that I heave myself back up and put my hand back in the fire again, only to get burned and then go into a complete circle and start asking out girls I'm not interested in, just to see if *someone* will say yes, and then realize that I'm wasting both our time by dating her.

It's the real jems that I have my eyes on. But I don't know if I'm good enough to take them.