The Note (Part 2)

Today I gave the note to the girl I singled out amongst the rest. Why did I single her out? Because she's given me the most signals. The note is simple. It has my name, phone number, and a smiley face at the bottom. It's self-explanatory.

I've been waiting to see her again, and today my opportunity came. We smiled, talked pleasantly. I asked her,

"What are you taking in University again?"
"Biochemistry."
"Cool!"
"Not really..."
"Oh, then why are you in it?"
"I need to take this before I can go to med school."

I'm not going to cite the conversation word-for-word (but I could). She's going to school for practical reasons, not out of some fluffy idea that she's going to find the job of her dreams. Not to find the job that *feels* like you never work a day in your life. Those fanciful dream jobs where you get paid to do something you love. No. She's going to become a doctor, for the money.

That's the same reason I'm going back to school. There's a lot of people I know that get degrees in Art, or Sociology or whatever, and then they just go get a job as a waitress or librarian. Yeah. If I want to get educated about something that I'm passionate about, I'll just buy some books off of e-bay or read wikipedia. I'm more akin to an autodidact.

Anyways, she lingered a little bit and then left. I knew where to find her. And when I had the opportunity, I grabbed the note and went out to approach her. She was standing there with some other guy.

I gave her the note. She said, "Awww. I'm sorry I can't accept this."
"Are you seeing someone?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry."
"No, that's fine. That makes sense." (that she'd have a boyfriend)

I left. Went and found a bench and just sat there for a moment to collect myself. My mind has a tendency to run away with things like this. "Idiot! Why..." blah blah. I just silenced my brain and focused on my breathing. Then I got up and went on. Not sure who I'll try next. I have an idea, but she's -very- attractive and I'm sure every guy would want to be with her. She has a bitch shield too. And I don't blame her.

It's highly unlikely that I stand a chance, but I'm going to try. Why? Part of me wants to prove it to myself that it doesn't work. Kind of like this: "See? I told you it wasn't going to work. Now stop trying and just go back to living inside your shell." Another part of me wants to quit pussy-footing around and go for what I -really- want. And what I -really- want, is what many men want.

Yeah, this might not end well. Oh well.